Ghetto Wino

Some people I work with are seriously not all there. Two of them keep pouring bleach straight onto the floor and using whole bottles at a time. Even close to heaters or heated things. Hooray for toxic gas! I am summoned to the basement office once more. I walk in and the Mayor is on the phone. I had two cups of coffee before I showed up and I am nervous for no reason. I sit down and her talks on the phone for about ten minutes, barely acknowledging my presence. My leg is shaking. I am biting my nails. I am just edgy. I stare at the poster of the orangutan on the wall with its tongue out. I watch the security cameras looking at my co-workers...spying on them. My manager comes in and we kinda just stare at each other for a while, waiting for the Mayor to get off them damned phone. Finally, my manager tells me that they need my info again. Address, social, birthdate, full name. They lost what I wrote it down on last time. I run upstairs as fast as I can after writing it all down again. For some reason, the Spaniard is being a bitch. She is yelling at my for doing my job and for doing things that aren't even my job. She must be on the rag. I will wait it out. This married chick comes in with her husband and they are apparently out of town. She asks me if I know if the club/restaurant (I don't know what it is) Tao is "happening" tonight. I tell her I have no idea. "I only go to the gay clubs." "Oh...good." "Yeah." "Do you like drag queens?" "Um...as friends." "So you're not attracted to them?" "No...I like them but I am gay which means I am attracted to men, not men dressed as women." "That makes sense, I never understood that whole thing." She turns to her husband, "Honey, do you understand--" He cuts her off. "Do you have to open that book?" He looks at me. "I'm from L.A. I know all about it." "Good for you." An elderly woman but not too elderly, like 50's or so, who is very high class, orders wine from my friend who works behind me. We're gonna call him Mocha Boy from now on. Normally but very fast she says "Two glasses of white wine please." Mocha Boy: "Excuse me?" He hasn't understood her. "TWO GLASSES OF WHITE WINE!!!" Me: "What kind?" "White!" "Yes, but what kind?" "Chardonnay!" "Ok....(under breath) stupid bitch.." I get her her wine. "Anything else?" "WHITE WINE!" "It's right here. Would you like anything else besides the wine?!" "Water." I know she is not hard of hearing, because when I am getting her the water, she is talking to her daughter quite normally without hearing aids or aids of any other kind. A man named Javier comes in and orders two frozen cappucinos. "Are you Charles?" "Yes." "I work across the street. The girls told me to ask for you." "Oh, that means you get it for cheap." "Cool." I fix him two frozen cappucinos and he goes to leave. "I have to remember to send something over for you." "Ok............" It makes me excited in anticipation. Nothing shows up for the rest of the day and I am disappointed. Two adorable and not at all pretentious French men come in and order coffee. I say adorable because they are holding hands so obviously thy bat for my team (unless this is a strange macho French custom among hetero men) and they look in love. They don't bother me. Near closing, a woman orders a glass of white wine. I go to pour it in a wine glass and she asks if I can pour it into a coffee cup with a to-go top. I oblige and I am happy. "No offense," I say to her, "but this is really ghetto...and I love it." "It is really ghetto but hey, I'm a wino at heart." "Ghetto is not a bad thing. I am ghetto, and you being ghetto makes me like you rather than hate you for even stepping foot in here." "Well, on your way out tonight, steal a bottle and enjoy yourself." "I just might." I don't though. "I would normally just drink it out of a glass but I need to get buzzed and my boyfriend's friends are all total conservative fucks." Oh, how I love this woman.