1/10/06 It Was A Tuesday

When I get to work today, my shirt and my hat are missing. Someone has stolen them. I go with my manager to the basement to get new ones. He gives me another 2XL, I ask for something smaller. He gives me a medium. It fits better but not tight like I like my shirts. As I am waiting for my shirt as he digs through boxes, I accidentally step on one of those rat traps. The paper ones that you put on the floor and have super sticky crap on them. It's takes me about 5 minutes to get my foot back. He cannot find a new hat for me to wear, so I go to work without one. Hope that I will never have to wear one again. 10 minutes later he comes back to me with a hat. Now this new hat was not like the one I wore before or like ones that my fellow co-workers were wearing now. I put it on and I look like a train conductor. I hate myself. I bend the rim and turn it to the side slightly. Now I look badass-ish. Sweet. I go to make a cappucino for someone and I do. I am amazed. So amazed I almost forget to give it to the woman who ordered it. I have a blister on my left pinkie. I have no idea where it came from. I suppose that it is from being burned at work and not realizing it. It looks like blood and puss is trying to break my skin from the inside. A small thin woman comes in and orders 8 different pastries, all To Go. I hope that she gets fat and gets diabetes...or is plaged with binge eating for the rest of her life because packing up these damned things to go is a pain in my ass and we don't have bags big enough to hold them. Later, I turn to my left and see Patrick Dempsey sitting talking to a woman. He apparently did not get coffee or I would have seen him closer. He stays for like 3 hours talking. He's cute but not overly so. A woman comes in and is what the show Seinfield would call a "soft-talker." Not only is she a soft-talker, she is a cunt. When I ask her to repeat her answers to the questions I have asked her like "Would you like milk in your coffee?" or "How many pieces of cake?" she not only repeats the answers but screams them at me. She says she doesn't want a bag for her food and then gets mad when I do not give her one. I want to jump over the counter and slap her repeatedly. Whatever, I made her frozen cappucino with a little flavor, milk and absolutely NO caffeine. A cute guy walks in. He has an English accent. Normally I would instantly fall in lust with him, but for some reason the way he says "croussaint" makes me think he is pretensious. He sits at the table right in front of my counter and I glare at him as muchas I can before her finally leaves. Another man walks in a orders a Honey Vanilla Latte with lots of "honeys." This man should be murdered. Not only murdered, but murdered and then fed to homeless cannibals that live in various parts of New York City. I have met them, we have an agreement. Today was not a very busy day. I get bored easily and I have noticed that passing time is easy if I clean things constantly. I am becoming OCD about it. Anytime there is a crumb or little tiny drop of milk or coffee, I immediately need to clean it up as soon as possible. This may become a problem. I find that we have very tiny bottles of wine that when poured, are exactly on glass full of wine. I wonder if 1)I can take any home, 2) If there are midget wino-s that these would be perfect for. My friend, the Spaniard leaves around 5pm. As she walks out, she is wearing a vest that makes it look like Cookie Monster is giving her a hug or mugging her for her Prada. I get really bored and after making sure everything is clean, I arrange croissants and eclairs in ways that make them look like they are having intercourse. I giggle all day at them but I don't think anyone else noticed. Around 7, I usually need more coffee to make it through the day. Today, I start adding shots of Irish Creme flavoring in my coffee, pretending it's Bailey's and thnk that if I at least think I am drunk on some level then I can cope with this place. A song by 98 Degrees plays over heard. I have never heard it before. It keeps saying things like "Your eyes," "I love you," "I love your eyes," "Your eyes of love," over and over and over again. It is possibly the most ridiculous, awful most un-musical piece of shit I have ever heard. All I hear is "eyes" and "love." I might get sick. As a final note, I have something to say. To all you bitchy fat chicks, just because you hate youself and your body because of years of overeating and lazily lying around on your ass, don't take it out on me cause I am thin and cute. I will spit in your coffee and wipe the sweat of my forhead with my palm before I pick up your muffin or danish if your treat me like shit again for no reason...or for any reason. And p.s. Fattie, if you order a cappucino with no foam, then you are ordering a latte you dumb twat.