Asian Leather Daddy

Right outside my cafe, a man tried to hand me a flyer that I could see from half a block back. It said "Hot Naked Women." I laughed in his face when he tried to hand it to me and sidestepped around him and in the front door of my cafe. Can't people tell who the 'moes are? Today was like an Asian Invasion in my cafe. I would say about 80% of customers were of Asian decent. Apparently Canal St. is trying to take over Soho in one fell swoop. We ain't having it bitches! But the most hilarious thing in the world is an Asian leather daddy. He was wearing chaps over his jeans, a tight leather vest with no undershirt underneath his leather biker jacket. He had on a chained biker cap and was apparently trying to grow his version of a trucker 'stache to failed attempts. He looked like a child molester with a big wardrobe budget. A European man who looked waaayy too much like a woman tried to pay for his $3.80 latte with his $10 Metrocard. I tell him it is impossible. He looks at me confused like he thought it was good anywhere like a little credit card. WRONG! After repeated attempts to tell him he was incorrect, he reluctantly gave in and paid in cash. A man who looks like Neo/The Matrix from a bad sci-fi convention orders espresso. He is dressed all in black. Trenchcoat, dress pants, black shoes, baclk shirt, slicked black hair and black sunglasses. One problem with his whole Matrix look though. There was a huge Armani Exchange logo in white on his black shirt. Plus when he took off his sunglasses, he had downs syndrome eyes. Soooo not the chosen one. He pays and sits down and it takes me about three minutes of standing there saying "sir" over and over again to get his attention to get his god damned espresso. Oh, and the pain in my lower back is gone. Yay!